remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
