Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
