She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
