Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We talked him into tasing himself.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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