I look better un-naked...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
