I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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