Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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