I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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