Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
