We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He better not be in your backpack
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
