Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
