I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
