just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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