I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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