I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
