Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
