somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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