U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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