im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
