Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
