I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
