and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
