yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
