We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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