You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
worst night to have a conscience
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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