rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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