and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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