no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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