I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
