I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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