you would pick up someone in the library
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
