But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
