the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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