singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
