If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
3 2 1 whiskey
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
