So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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