when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
