3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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