do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
