I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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