Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize