It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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