Welp...herpes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
