We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
