So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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