whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
