Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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