i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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