Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
