i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
