i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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