smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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