DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
