You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
