he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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