can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize