He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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