you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
