I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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